Is anyone else finding this to be a difficult or disappointing Christmas this year?

I've come down with some sort of cold or flu... coughing up phlegm every minute and throwing up yesterday morning when I was meant to be catching a flight back home to Guernsey...
This missing of the flight, due to illness, has resulted in my mother being mad at me for not even trying to catch the flight or not caring enough about Christmas to think that it's of huge importance that I go back home to attend it. (As according to her, it may be the last one we all spend together as a family..) Now.. unless someone is dying or moving too far away for it to be practical to spend Christmas together again, she's taking bull and trying to lay another layer of the guilt trip on me.. Which i REALLY don't appreciate.

I took time; weeks, months! to think of the perfect presents to get everyone this Christmas, even some for her new lover of which I haven't even had the courtesy of meeting yet. I didn't consider this 'thoughtful' at the time of buying these presents, just .. the way you treat your family and putting enough care and thought into finding suitable gifts that they will like. Now, I think I was very 'thoughtful' and considerate - due to the fact that NONE of my family in Guernsey have put any thought into what I would like or planned anything. My brother and sister spent a lot on themselves to pay me much mind into what to get me as a gift, so little money and no ideas.. ask Emily straight "what do you want?" .. no thought .. no care .. just let's get it over and done with! Same with mother.

Dad always gives me money, and who can go wrong with that?? I always appreciate it and it's enough for me to be able to see him from time to time to get the compassion from him. However mother always lets me down on that front, when I try to help her with her MANY issues, she throws them back in my face or twists the story to tell everyone else so she comes out in the right or being hard-done-by.

And now this. Making me feel guilty and depressed about the fact that I am sick and cannot come home for Christmas. Saying "if you're not coming home at all then have a good christmas and i'll send your present" ... so no "get well soon" or "it's a shame that you're ill, but I understand that you can't travel in such a state"... OHHHHH NO. It's several TEXTS not even phone calls about how shit I am as a daughter and sister because I couldn't be ARSED to get the train to the airport... Wow... she must really rate me huh? I must be a real douche! Horrible, lazy, unthoughtful cow I must be!

Just a joke..

"If uv been ill for a couple days, perhaps you shouldn't have travelled on train on sunday, or worked yesterday?"
...
...
Illness is progressive.
It starts out mild then turns more intense... anyone is able to understand this!
Plus, If i'm not dying, I work... I need money to pay bills, for food and ... oh yeah... for all the presents i bought for all of you!!!!!! Overspent on their presents too because I thought they deserved something nice...

My sister is also turning 18, she came over to spend some time with us in our flat (me and my boyfriend). She was pretty disrespectful in refusing to offer any sort of help for anything whilst staying here.. most guests offer to help out at least a few times. Nada from her. Now she's either pissed that i'm not coming over for her Birthday (today) or she's ignoring me, or she doesn't care.. either way, she hasn't replied to both apologies I have sent her... I got her a matching bracelet to the one she gave me for my 18th.
"Sisters" on the front, "and best friends" on the back. How true is this anymore?... I just don't know how to feel...


What happened to just appreciating each others company, and exchanging niceties?

What happened to nice, compassionate and caring families, and siblings?

Or at least, what happened to mine?

I miss them